I just needed a minute

I just needed a minute. I just wanted some time. I’m looking out the window and I find I’m undefined. I’m watching time unravel and space defeat itself. Everything is plausible when you’re talking to yourself.

I’ve escaped death and walked in on life, to die. I’ve missed my train and boarded a plane that’s destined to collide. Colliding with my nerves and hiding in despair. I’ve never been a dreamer but I want to find a dream. All the seemings have come undone and now all I can do is bleed.

And if I bleed to death is the color true? Is my blood not sorrow, a basic living rouge. I’m tired of playing house and falling short on dimes. I’m tired of living nothing and losing daily struggles. I’m lost and courage is beneath me.

I’m on a rock in the middle of the ocean and paper is my fear. I’m walking in on time and have somehow caught a watch. I hear ticking in the background and it’s not a bomb. It’s my life, soul, and breath seeping out it’s, seconds, it’s minutes, hours, and days. Living the smallest possible life.

Smaller than my closest atom, microns thin and sticky sweet. With my tears and deepest thoughts along it. The skin is wet with tingling hollows of futures left unwritten. My past is damp with unsuccess and peace is scarce and barren. I’m losing a winning battle. I’ve left the sidelines cold, my muscles for life are not warmed up and my mind is not gone today.