Im just trying to figure out what happened...

I’m just trying to figure out what happened.

I was in pain, but I’m always in pain. Today though it was different. I went to get groceries it was supposed to be straightforward. I got up, took a shower, put clothes on, made a list, and drove to the store. Now the commissary had been closed for 2 days, store reset. They turned my frequented shopping place into a fibromites hell. I had to search for everything. It took me like an hour to get maybe 20 items, it was excruciating. I returned home feeling like I had swam a mile, ran three, and hiked a mountain. I still have yet to recover from my outing. And yet as I type my day failed to get better, my playmate for my daughter was canceled. My mother called an told me my Great Aunt is again in the hospital, and my sister is having a surgical procedure tomorrow that I would prefer I was home to be there for her. My bf here got great news too; her FIL has 6 months to a year to live. How come I missed all this? I went to the store, and while I exhausted myself, the world turned upside down. Where was I, what was I thinking? My hands shake from the exertion of typing this and my husband works, and my children play and I slowly lose my grasp on what….? Life, time, thought, joy, anything and everything I can think of. I am so confused, and guess what I’m still in pain.