So a new year

So we are in the start of a new year, and everyone is talking new beginnings. So let's talk new beginnings.

So what are the new beginnings for the DTB for 2007. Well I want to lose weight this year so I've figured out the plan and am almost ready to execute. I am in the beginning phases of our move to England and am truly excited to be going over seas. I am learning more about myself as a person. Just who is this Candace woman? and where has she been for the past 4 to 5 years? If you know please contact Miss DTB @ browniebear94@gci.net with any and all information leading to her whereabouts. She has been AWOL for quite sometime and I'd like to reinstitute her authority in this situation.

So those things being said I'm in for a Doozy of a year. My sanity has already cracked once in the last several months soo we are not looking for a relapse. However if things start to look edgy please be willing to call in the white coats at any time. I was not expecting it but looney bins are quite refreshing, almost vacation like except for the padded walls of course.

Okay So Not Cool

Okay not cool

I am up @ 6am not by choice. My husband went tout to take care of a friend. That was 6-7 hours ago. He has called twice, after I have called him to see what was up. Now I’m getting a little worried. I again called and now there is no answer. I’m being paranoid I know but it’s the night before Thanksgiving. You don’t stay out past 6am on the night before Thanksgiving, well at least not without a damn good reason. So I’m up worried as usual, and my DH has no worries that I’m up as usual. You’d think he knows me enough by now that I would know that he is not here. It’s an internal clock thing, I wake up like every 3 hours when he’s not home and do like a “systems” check. It must be a wife/mom/parent thing. But I’ll tell ya before all this mess with T I could sleep through the night. Now I worry when he’s out and there’s no phone calls. Why does the man even own as cell phone? He doesn’t use it. Okay wait a minute he does use it, he just doesn’t use it to call me.

I guess I'm Due

Well I haven’t posted in a minute so I guess I’m due. I do really like blogging it’s just that typing is such a pain for me with the Fibro. However I’m doing really well with IT. You know I’ve figured out that my mental attitude towards being disabled has changed A LOT. I still feel quite crappy 80% of the time, but I continuously tell myself that I’m still here and it’s NOT that bad. Yes it hurts like HELL but it’s not half as bad as it could be. Cleaning, housework and shoot anything is still like climbing a mountain but now it’s a mountain I know I can scale if not reach the top. I guess it’s like finding the right hand holds when mountain climbing. You spend quite a bit of time deliberating on the right ones because you don’t want to make a miscalculation and fall. So far I’m still doing a lot of deliberating before I find the right choices. I don’t think I’ve found all the right combinations yet of work and rest but I’m determined to one day use my HT certification. I want to be back in a lab, even if it’s only part-time. Right now though there is one song right now that stays with me everyday. When I wake up in the morning and it hurts to get to the bathroom. When I can’t go to sleep because the pain is unbearable. When I fight myself on finishing a task or on taking pain meds to make it thru. And let me tell you I HATE pain meds, they make me Loopy and I can’t participate as a family member. Pooey on that I’d rather have the pain, at least they can see me smile. When all this is there I say I’m still here I can get back up and Stand.

SO my song right now is Stand by Rascal Flatts. It’s the epitome of being somewhere you don’t want to be and saying okay but…. I’m not down.