the signs of a bad fibro day

Today I woke up and realized it was going to be a bad Fibro day. then I realized that I've never explained what a bad Fibro day actually feels like. Now I'm going to describe a day of about an 8 on the pain scale. This is where my pain is today and yes it hurts to type.

So to begin we start with what happens when you wake up. Usually I realize before I get out of the bed that I'm hurting but today ahhh not so much. I idiotically jumped out of bed with the alarm and quickly realized I was screwed. I stumbled to the bathroom yelling at myself the whole way. You see my legs were jumpy w/ some throbbing pain and very unsteady. After waking the kids I immediately climbed back into bed. I awoke some time later about 10 am, and got dressed and came to my office. As i sit hear I am experience a wide range of pain symptoms. I am going to make a list by body part and then what the pain feels like or/and what the part looks like.

1. face- warm, achy, tight, heavy, tender- w/ my cheeks being puffy and red.
2. arms- heavy, achy and pulsing
3. hands- heavy, achy, shaking, tender w/ the palms being puffy the knuckles swollen and the hands and all over pinkish which will probably be a deep red by the end of this post.
4. chest and neck- tender and tight
5. back and shoulders- tight, tender, achy, nagging w/ the back injury places being an intermittent jabbing and stabbing pain when I move to quickly
6. legs- heavy, shaky, tender, w/ them being unable to hold my weight whenever they feel they can't
7. feet and ankles- tight, achy, and just a tad swollen

Over All- I am lethargic, achy, sweating, and mad. My temper will be short today, i feel for my children and husband. I forced myself to get out of bed and now am wishing I was back in it. Days like this are extremely annoying, it's as if my body has gone on strike. Now there are always or usually reasons for the revolt. Yesterday I played a couple games of hands of Hand and Foot (a card game) with my one my AZ bf's., Stephanie. Who is actually a transplant from Alaska, but I did it knowing my back was unhappy. Then we ran to the movie store to return a movie, to the kid's school (Taty's sandals had broke), and then to TC's for lunch. And as if that wasn't enough we ran to the BX after that to check out grills for Steph w/ the expertise of my husband. Bad, Bad, Bad me, I knew I was pushing but did it anyway- DUMB. So now I pay for it

Now not all of my bad days are this bad, but this is a pretty bad one and looks to get worse. I'm going to end this post her because simply I have come to my ability to tolerate the pain. I need to medicate, eat , and sleep. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow. Thankfully AZ has made it so that my goo days outweigh the bad. I could be an 8 today and a 3 (normal) tomorrow. Wish me luck!

relaxed, rested, reprieved

There something to be said for giving yourself a treat. I have to admit with money being so tight, that it was a moment of frivolity. However it was much needed, as you have seen by more recent posts. Life has been hectic, harrowing, and brutal. Yet we have remained steady and grounded. With that, my friend Steph and I decided we were going to have a us moment. We went to the nail salon and had pedicures. I do have to say we paid WAY too much and I will not be going back to THAT salon. Yet the service was good and my toes look fantabulous, not to mention it made me FEEL good. And there's something about doing something for yourself when you NEED. Sometimes it has to be , and that is totally unselfish and well-deserved.

I have ALWAYS had a hard time treating myself. I always feel like I could have spent the money or the time in another wiser way. It's been one of those Achilles heel's for me. I struggle with it and maybe that's why I have such a hard time with my dh. I always feel like he does a lot of very selfish things. To me he seems to do it ALL the time. Where as it is weeks even months between my selfish diversions. As a matter of fact I am sure that the last time I had a pedicure was late February and it is now May. When I was working and money was common and flowing I went every 2 weeks. And every visit I to had both my hands and feet done. Now I feel as if it is a luxury item and should be saved for special occasions. Time and money should not be squandered just because you can, and even more so we you can't.

Ahh, that I feel better and will now climb into my bed, feeling as if the world is right for a least one moment.

Lost in the memories

I had the most wonderful phone conversation today. I was lost in memories and catching up with my oldest and dearest friend. It was soul soothing. Now matter how long it is between our conversations or meetings we notice the gaps but it's like we still live right down the street from each other. In fact he commented about the fact that my son will be starting middle school next school year. Then he says '....sometimes I feel like we are still in the sixth grade, ourselves..." As he was saying that I realized that we had been friend since the 6th grade. When I lived 5 minutes from him on the westside of Columbus, Ohio. I am now 32, and we've been friend's for over 20 yrs. Unbelievable.

We had been playing phone tag for a couple of days and respectfully I knew that he is extremely busy. He is one of the head hunchos for the glaad organization in NYC. Right now that man is really unreachable and yet he still found time for me. I of course, was humbled and delighted. The fact that he agreed to help w/ another little pet project I'm working on, well.... Needless to say I am very honored that I will have his assistance. To me his help (in my mind) assures the success of the project. He is one of those NEVER FAIL kind of people. He always gives his best and anyone who has ever worked with him or just plain knows him will feel awed. All I can say is that I feel truly blessed for his continued friendship and his unconditionally love that has lasted many years and many miles.