23 January 2007

Frustration and resistance

Frustration for me is like meaning to be supportive and failing due to my overwhelming desire for survival. So just where is the crazy woman going with this? Well I'm frustrated with my husband but, who isn't right? Yet it seems he is determine to have everyone else's approval before mine. Although I thought it was "if I'm not happy, nobodies happy." But it's not like that, I'm told that, that is the way it's supposed yo be. But it is rarely that way. I am always compromising. I have been for years, always me and no one else. I think I'm ready to be done with all of this. I feel like I'm used, I'm here for show. Do I even have any real value? Is my only value to take care of "the business end" of the family. Have I no feelings, or needs? I'm so tired of sacrificing all the time, and for what. For someone else to tell me how I should "trust" my husband because he's "with" you. Like you are so wonderful that I shouldn't be worried. I'm sorry, but I've been led astray too many times and I'm tired of B.S. I have had enough. Either what I feel is important or it isn't. Make up your mind hubby, don't let other people make it for you.

 
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