Interestingly Enough

I was sitting here trying to get ready for bed, and I became preoccupied. I got lost in my thoughts about tomorrow. I'm having a pelvic ultrasound tomorrow. They are trying to find out if I'm going into premature menopause, Now I'm kind of okay with that, I'm done procreating, no more children from this oven. It's just that I'm worried about the procedure and procedure's usually don't bother me. For some reason, I'm pre-occupied with the thought that it's more than that. Like I need anything else to be wrong with me, but that just seems like a excuse. Like it's too simple and yet I want it to be that simple. I'm a complete mess.

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Frustration and resentment

Frustration for me is like meaning to be supportive and failing due to my desire for survival. Where am I going with this Well I'm frustrated with my husband who isn't right?But he seems to want everyone else's approval before mine I thought it was if I'm not happy no body's happy. But it's not like that, I'm told that, this is the way it's supposed to be. But it is rarely that way, I always have to compromise, no one else just me. I think I'm ready to be done. I'm tired of sacrificing all the time, and for what. For someone else to tell me how I should "trust" my husband because he's "with" you. Like you are so wonderful that I shouldn't be worried. I'm sorry, but I've been led astray too many times and I'm tired of B.S. I have had enough either what I feel is important or it isn't. Make up your mind hubby, don't let other people make it for you.

note I wrote this in Feb- but got lost in the puter

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