26 April 2007

Can we get any more complicated

As if I'm not already bothered by my well being and how my physical conditions affect my family now my mind is coming back to haunt me.

In December of 2006 I spent about 6 days in a Mental Ward. It was a very mild visit, more like a mini vacation. I had had a mental collapse. I was so wrecked, I couldn't figure out who I was. It was very quiet and I really think it was the best thing I ever did for my self. I knew I needed help and that I was overwhelmed. I knew Torrey (my dh) couldn't help me, so I did what I thought was right. I learned a lot about the way I think and why. I learned how to change my thought patterns and to stop making every ant hill, into a mountain.

Now we are facing the possibility that we won't be able to go to England. The doctor's in England believe that I am still un-stable. My therapist here thinks otherwise and has very wonderfully written a very detailed letter to that effect. We spent the afternoon, T and I, running back and forth between my therapist office and the base hospital. So now we wait and see what the England doc's think of my therapist's letter.

She was great, she really is in our corner and it has been wonderful working with her. She's helped me see that just become I'm disabled it doesn't mean I'm useless or incapable of great things. I've just had to find new ways to be creative. I can't dance anymore but I can crochet, I can't do Histology but I can quilt. I'm even going to trying writing some children's books. Who knows?

I am trying to be very optimistic. I'm looking at the whole picture, putting a lot faith into my therapist ideas of me and that the England Base Hospital docs can see past my past and give us a chance to explore the world.

 
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