Stuck with my thoughts

Haven't done much thinking today, which is a good thing. I'll have to say something for T, he really is trying to keep me happy. He made dinner tonight and didn't once complain about having to do so. He's also seeing me for the first time in a long time. I have to wonder if it's the Love Dare Book or is he really seeing me.

The more I wonder about our future together, the more certain I am that we may actually get through this horribleness. I have moments of misery followed by moments of euphoria. where do I draw the mine on my ability to judge the situation? How do I justify my willingness to trust a man who doesn't deserve what I offer? I am so confused!

I want to trust him. he's my husband but I can't or won't because I'm terrified. Who wouldn't be? I shouldn't, should I? Gee Mo Peep my life has never been straight forward has it.